Hey Y’all! I don’t know about you, but when I become a parent everyone talked about pregnancy, labor & delivery and the late-sleepless nights ahead. Oh, but there is so much more that goes unsaid. Some of the queues we receive in society seem to be in direct competition with truth, so let me hip ya to some truth real quick. That whole “put your air mask on first before helping others” spiel we get before flights applies to daily life also. If you are drowning (in debt, work, toxic relationships, or just generally overwhelmed) and you try to help others, eventually your air runs out.
When we are honest with ourselves, we know that when we get to the point of overload because we feel used and depleted. Even worse, sometimes it doesn’t show and the need for our help doesn’t get acknowledged which triggers feelings of abandonment and loneliness even when we are surrounded by people. Can I get an Amen? Then we go from depleted to sucked dry which leads to a nasty road called resentment. Don’t go there, it’s a trip that gets harder to turn away from than a toddler covered in vaseline.
It’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes it is necessary! Granted, the world is full of judgmental people and other moms can sometimes be the most mean spirited but requesting assistance may be the key to avoiding 18the pit of depression that seems to loom over the every-busy mom. Self-care is a term I learned while earning my degree in counseling and (in my own words) refers to intentional mental, physical and emotional care of one’s self. While this term is used more often in “helping professions,” I cannot think of a career that requires helping others more than being a mother. For many of us we juggle not just the need to care for our children, homes and families but also friendships, relationships and work places that seek to challenge and pull on us everyday.
In the multi-faceted world we live in and the constant movement of our days and duties, slowing down is necessary. I once heard a quotation that said, “A job worth doing, is worth doing well.” Since parenting is the occupation we share as parents is important not only for our few but for the future generations to come, I’d say pausing to reflect before we react or respond is the healthiest thing we can do for our families, acquaintances and most importantly, ourselves.