So yesterday as I was sitting in evening service at church waiting expectantly for my afternoon dose of caffeine to kick in, I was struck by the phrase, “…as parents we have to balance intent versus impact. Because the old way of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ doesn’t work…” Needless to say my attention was peaked and I was all ears at this point. I was reminded how great our witness and lifestyle in our own lives can affect how our children make choices.
Growing up, I remember all too well the frustration of being told not to make certain choices but then witnessing those very things being done under the guide of “I’m grown…I’m an adult…do what I say, not what I do.” The only seed those nuggets planted in my heart was the desire to grow up faster so that I could get to adulthood and make those choices. So now, as a parent I was struck that our actions not only have an impact but that the impact we create may not be what we intended. WOW, WOW, WOW! Granted, children will have to understand that there are some things they are just not able to do because they are children. But it made me question what I am modeling adulthood to look like.
Am I showing our girls that being an adult means just being able to stay up late, have money and do things they constantly get told no when they inquire about (ya know, like staying up late, eating candy whenever you want or watch movies we as adults save until after their bedtime)? Or, do our girls see adulthood as a time of misery filled with endless days at work, complaints about people and the heaviness or daily life and obligations? My hope is that neither of those are so but rather that we are modeling adulthood as enjoyable and intriguing while offering plenty of opportunities for failure, growth and accountability.
Even as I sit here and type this out next to the the Firstborn who is engulfed in a learning app on her tablet I can see that my influence and impact are in full swing. Which begs the question, how does one balance this concept in other areas of life and are we mindful of it? I don’t know about y’all but it definitely hit close to home yesterday and as made me more aware of my interactions with the Little People in our home. I pray my intentions lead to a positive everlasting impact most importantly in our home but also in the relationships I have and will build outside of my full-time jobs (motherhood, homeschooling and homemaking). Until we meet again on the couch, take a minute and ask yourself whether your intentions are matching your impact!